He smoothed out his daily allowance on the counter of Wop Zsu’s. He pet it twice and then turned over to Honest Abe’s nice beard and stern eyes. Leonard Twitty bent down and whispered to him. It was the same conversation that he had every day, whether he talked to Honest Abe in front of the Burger King, Sparro’s or Kentucky Fried Chicken, it was always the same. Leonard would always say, “Goodbye Lincoln, you did great things, so I can do great things with my life.” So, he handed over the sweat-laden bill over, his hand shaking slightly and snuck another glance at the little pixy with unicorn earrings who was waiting in line behind him.

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Good Job!

We watched a comedy last night: The Departed edited for child consumption. Remember the Mr. Show skit, Pallies, about Goodfellas, edited? That’s about what this was, complete with Marky Mark’s middle finger blurred out. Well, we’re not censoring today. Neither is Ben Mezrich, who is getting his best James Frey on. Again. Robert Sullivan may have more in common with his new subject, Thoreau, than he thinks. Early on, Lynn Barber had a little trouble with lascivious men; it’s all part of An Education. John McEnroe and Robert DeNiro just got one from an art ponzi scheme. And, in case you missed it, David Foster Wallace was really fucking smart. Told you we weren’t censoring. — Andrew Geer

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