Kitchen Knife

1. A standard kitchen tool consisting of a sharp blade attached to a handle intended for cutting, peeling, chopping, slicing, and dicing.

2. Used primarily for food preparation (see also BUTCHERING; BACKSTABBING; JACK THE RIPPER; DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS).

3. Operated by hand, although some powered by electricity. Dangerous when employed inattentively.

4. May be lubricated by food juices, blood, or tears — as in onion preparation.

5. Should not be operated under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or while experiencing severe anger.

6. The most common weapon in domestic violence. A three-to-one ratio of kitchen knife murders over guns.

7. Slang: To betray or attempt to defeat by underhanded means. You backstabbed me again with a fucking butcher knife to my own mother,  for Christ’s sake!

8. The domestic utensil blamed in a fatal stabbing after a California couple’s New Year’s Eve party argument over tacos.

9. A good set of kitchen knives can make any food preparation job easier, but personal safety must always be a user’s main concern.

10. Keeping kitchen knives sharp is essential. If a knife is blunt you have to force it and there is a real danger of accidental cuts or severe injury.

Related articles: KITCHEN HEALTH & SAFETY; CUT WOUNDS; KNIFE WOUND SUTURE MATERIALS AND TECHNIQUES; METAPHORICAL CUTS; KNIFE SHARPENING TRICKS; HOW TO ARGUE WITH YOUR SPOUSE OR PARTNER CONSTRUCTIVELY; REMAINS OF “BOG MAN” FOUND WITH SHARPENING STONES WORN AS PENDANT.

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Ed Higgins teaches creative writing and literature at George Fox University, south of Portland, OR. He lives on a small farm with an assorted menagerie of animals including a Manx barn cat named Velcro. His poems and short fiction have appeared in Monkeybicycle, Pindeldyboz, and Twisted Tongue, as well as such online journals as CrossConnect, Word Riot, The Centrifugal Eye, Mannequin Envy, and JMWW, among others.