Our couch is hungry. We found a message on its center cushion similar to the “Help Me” on Linda Blair’s sweaty tummy in The Exorcist. Here’s what it said:

I’m starved. I want ass. When y’all read this, plop your asses on me.  It’s not my fault.  I’m hungry, and I’m a couch, and y’all brought me up this way. I’m willing to pay. Dig into my folds for some loose change. It’s not much, but it’s your asses I want, not your souls, so it should be enough.

COUCH

We don’t want this to happen to you. We want to make sure you keep your couch happy. Take your laptop to your couch now, please, and feed the poor wretch. Snuggle in while you read our picks, take your time. Time enough to broaden your mind. Time for your couch to feast on your derriere and never complain again.

–Robert Paul Moreira

(more…)

When I thought of leaving,
I saw the neon gleam
of streetside shops, the glow
on the brown and gray
brick but I said,
“Impossible,”
and just as quickly,
the veil drew over
my eyes again.
But for a moment,
sea-salt air and that giddy
rise up of the sight
to the point where city light
obscures the recesses
of bottomless night,
that big hungry belly.
For a moment
a memory of grit of shoe
on sidewalk.
Going somewhere,
for sure.
Then back to my life,
a long long hallway
of closed doors,
boxes stacked and teetering
along the walls.
I’m hemmed in.
I’d go to ruin for you.
I’d go to ruin
for anyone.

_____________________

Mary Ann Honaker holds a B.A. in philosophy from West Virginia University and a Masters of Theological Studies from Harvard Divinity School.  She has previously published poetry in Harvard’s The Dudley Review, Crawlspace, Gold Dust, Dappled Things, Hoi Polloi, The Foliate Oak, The Gloom Cupboard and Euphony.  In her writings she primarily explores the transformative power of love and the intersection of the spiritual world with mundane reality.  She currently lives in Salem, Massachusetts with her husband, Matthew Bender.

Stay The @!&% Away, #7!

As sports fans, we have our limits. Michael Vick’s continuing career as a football player is mind-boggling and a shame for the NFL and all of professional sports. We believe in second chances (lord knows we’re thankful for the ones we’ve had). But this despicable human being should not have one. This Sunday he will be cheered as the official starter for the Philadelphia Eagles. Apparently, all you need is a “heart-to-heart” with a self-righteous blowhard, and then — poof! — you are saved (Jesus always works). But we digress. You don’t want to hear about this. You’re more interested in news of the word. As always, lots of stories are percolating in Washington, DC. Find out more at this weekend’s National Book Festival. And Donald Rumsfeld has a new book about his time in the Bush II reign — too bad the summer is over, this sounds like a good beach read! Barnes & Noble continues to fight from within (is it bad that we’re enjoying this?). Playboy has always been an excellent place to publish your stories, and now those stories are being shared with the blind. Last but not least, Jon Stewart & Co. return to the shelves with their new book, Earth, which will hit the shelves just in time to give us what we need — a good laugh. Ready… break! — Andrew Geer

On Friday night I read Mel Bosworth’s finger-tingling Grease Stains, Kismet, and Maternal Wisdom. It’s the best single-sitting novel[la] I’ve read since Shane Jones’s Lightboxes.

It’s a quirky love story. A quick tryst pulled across six chapters, each chapter self-aware and strongly told.

Here’s the long-skinny: Our hero, David, lives in the Boston area. His sweetheart, Samantha, is in town for a handful of days from Seattle. While they’re together, they become a monster. While they’re together, they get drunk and screw. While they’re together, Samantha’s mother goes from pumpkin-fat to roller-skate skinny after mainlining Trimspa while her daughter plays the saxophone. (That last bit isn’t entirely accurate).

(more…)

_____________________________

Meg Pokrass is a fiction writer who lives in San Francisco where truth is questionable. Her debut collection of flash fiction, “Damn Sure Right” will be published in 2011 by Press 53. Meg’s work was selected for Wigleaf’s Top 50 Flash Fiction 2009. She has published over one hundred stories and poems. You can see more of her animations here at http://pokrasstinations.com/