Spotlight On…

Today, Elizabeth Ellen is on Dark Sky’s stage, afire. She’s bad. Kickass. Warrior.

I want to be just like her when I grow up [oops, too late]. When I’m reincarnated, then.

– Ethel Rohan

Writing wise, where are you now? Where are you going?

Oh my god, good question. Where am I? Fuck, I don’t know. I think I got lost, actually. I’m working on a story collection. I’m working on a new novel. I’m always working on flashes, and telling myself they’re not a waste of time.

What informs your creative process? How do you keep inspired?

I would say movies inspire me as much as anything. And then a small handful of stories and books. I was recently blown away by a Jonathan Safran Foer story in The New Yorker. Every line of it had me saying, “fuck yes!” Pretty much anything that doesn’t bore the shit out of me, inspires me. My biggest personal fear is boring other people (with my writing, I mean, though also in general).

Do you ever struggle with self-doubt? How do you cope with those feelings?

Of course I struggle with self-doubt. Constantly. I have 260 pages of a novel and a 100 of a novella and I’ll likely never publish either because I think ultimately they’re irrelevant. Or boring (see above). But then I think most books/stories are irrelevant or boring. It’s a problem.

In addition to writing, what other hats do you wear? Is it hard to juggle everything?

Oh, not enough, probably. That’s likely half my problem. I’m very content to sit and stare at the wall or to spend four hours working on a flash or to drive around town listening to music with my daughter at eleven o’clock at night. I’m unambitious and lazy, I guess, is the point.

How has the Internet impacted your reading and writing? What is the future of print publication?

How hasn’t the Internet impacted my reading and writing? Um, I’d say it’s made it all a zillion times more accessible. That said, I don’t actually read that much online. But I typically learn about the books I read via online sources. The future of print publication? Well, I don’t know. I’m not really one to worry about things like the future of print publication or the environment, etc. You can’t fight change. Or, you can, but you’ll lose. People will always read and write. In whatever form. I’m not worried.

Tell us something that most people don’t know about you?

Let’s see. I have a degree from a travel school. I usually forget that. So, see, I’m not a total loser! I think I need to find that certificate and hang it on my wall, actually. So I’ll never forget again.

If you didn’t write, what would your life look like?

Probably a lot like it does now, only I’d have even more time to watch movies and go for drives and listen to music.

Please tell us your favorite, and why:

a. Musical

Is Notorious a musical? What about 8 Mile? These are the ones I watched most recently, though Yentl’s pretty sweet, too.

b. Fable/Fairy Tale

I like the one about the dude who kept chugging the rock up the hill over and over. It’s relatable.

c. Movie

Oh, geez. This is the hardest question in life. I’m gonna go with The Big Lebowski simply because everything about it is unexpected and I can watch it over and over and also cuz John Goodman is a total badass (why isn’t he in more movies?).

d. Painting

Painting… hmmm… I’m really more of a photography person, though I love everything/anything by David Kramer. LOVE.

e. Place

The card table in his kitchen. Because everything’s there: cards, whiskey, music, and him.

Please do a five minute free-write with the words “brown heart” and share:

Brown heart. Brown heart. Brown Heart. She couldn’t think of anything to go with the words “brown heart.” She stared at the words for five minutes, which was the total amount of time she was supposed to spend writing about the words “brown heart.” Nothing came to mind. Filet mignon overcooked came to mind. She couldn’t write about overcooked filet mignon. Filet mignon reminded her of the Lil Wayne lyric, “open up  her legs then filet mignon that pussy.” She couldn’t write about filet mignoned pussy. She couldn’t incorporate Lil Wayne lyrics into her writing. She considered emailing Ethel and asking for a different set of words but asking for a different set of words was admitting defeat. Was she a writer or wasn’t she? It was a test of sorts, and so far she was failing. She looked with envy at the words others had been given. Matt Bell had been given the words “purple apples.” Matt Bell had made it look easy: “He punched them right in their purple apples.” Bam! Matt Bell didn’t need to ask for different words. Matt Bell would have no problem writing for five minutes about the words “brown heart.” Matt Bell would write for five minutes about the words “brown heart” and then make breakfast for his wife.  Matt Bell was a writer! Matt Bell had passed the test no problem! She stared at the words “brown heart” five more minutes and this time the movie “Brown Bunny” came to mind. She’d never seen the movie “Brown Bunny,” though she had heard plenty about it. She’d heard of course about the blow job scene. The blow job scene, truth be told, had been the only reason she wanted to see the movie. Now, however, she was curious about the title. She thought perhaps it was some sort of reference to a sexual act of which she was naively unfamiliar.  She considered texting Matt Bell to ask. Matt Bell was not naive or unfamiliar. Matt Bell had probably seen the movie “Brown Bunny.” He probably knew what sexual act the title referred to, if it referred to any. Matt Bell knew a lot about a lot. It was likely he knew something about the words “brown heart” as well, though if he did, she did not want to know. She feared it was some sort of term used to reference a heart that has been wounded in some manner. She had already written extensively on the subject of wounded hearts. She was eager to write about something else. Anything else. Filet mignoned pussy or blow jobs or brown bunnies even. Anything but wounded hearts. She was going to have to tell Ethel she was sorry but she simply couldn’t write anything incorporating the words “brown heart.” She was going to have to admit defeat. She was going to have to admit she was not a writer.

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Elizabeth Ellen is the author of Before You She Was a Pit Bull (Future Tense) and Sixteen Miles Outside of Phoenix (Rose Metal Press). She is editor of Short Flight/Long Drive books, a division of Hobart publishing, and runs the Great Lakes, Great Times Reading Series in Ann Arbor.