Spotlight On…

Today, my fellow Bay Area babe, Lauren Becker, graces the Dark Sky stage. Welcome, Lauren, it’s always a pleasure to hang out together.

– Ethel Rohan

Writing wise, where are you now? Where are you going?

I’m not producing much lately. I have a lot of unfinished stuff: sentences, paragraphs, ideas. But I’ve been spreading myself thin, doing writing-related things instead of writing. Organizing readings, doing readings, going to readings, working on Corium. I truly love everything about working on Corium. As for the events, as you know, the Bay Area can easily suck you in. There are 12 billion things to do in any given week. It’s amazing, but it can be too much, and at times I feel beholden. I need to stay home and write.

A friend had a small reading at her house recently. She has a little stage in her backyard, and a few of us read and another friend’s six year-old daughter ended the night with an abridged production of a movie she likes, as performed by her Barbie. It might have been the best reading I’ve attended and done. It was really a poetry event. A few people have told me my work sometimes has a poetic quality. I don’t think that makes me a poet. I don’t know the form. But I decided to write something before I went over, and I think it might be a poem. And so did they. Which is not to say I’m entering a poetry phase. I just think I might see what they’re saying.

More than that, I feel a shift in the direction of my writing.  I’m definitely branching out in the area of topics. I always say my specialty is sad girls and disappointing men. And it has worked for me. But, I am exploring more issues regarding families and have gotten a bit experimental. It wasn’t planned. Like the poetry or pseudo-poetry, it’s just sort of happening. I’m trying not to fight change. I think it’s a time in my life, in my writing, when things are moving away from the known.

What informs your creative process? How do you keep inspired?

I mostly just listen to people and watch. People say and do incredible things. In good and bad ways.  I am inspired by great writing and the desire to be better. And I am always driven by a need to understand people. I don’t think I will, but writing provides some comfort.

How do you feel about the label writer? Woman writer?

I’m good with the label “writer.” It’s probably the best word to describe me. “Woman writer?” That’s descriptive, too. Sort of beside the point, I think, but it doesn’t bother me. I like being a woman.

Do you struggle with self-doubt? How do you cope with those feelings?

Yes. A lot. I cope with self-doubt by writing about it, talking to other writers, crying, sleeping, throwing the occasional pity party, giving up, and starting over.

In addition to writing, what other metaphorical hats do you wear? Is it hard to find balance?

It was more difficult when I was looking for jobs in my former field — healthcare government relations — which can be quite conservative. Now I freelance for a magazine, do academic editing for grad students, and also some consulting on a big healthcare project with the federal government. At this point, my hats seem to be matching my outfits pretty well.

Tell us something that most people don’t know about you?

I was very shy growing up. I am, still, but I hide it better.

If you didn’t write, what would your life look like?

I started writing a lot only a few years ago, so I lived a long time without it.  If I went back to not writing, I would probably have to do something else creative to keep from losing my mind.  I make jewelry and sing — maybe I’d do those things more. I would learn to sew and play guitar so I could actually create some things I envision. For now, I want to spend more time writing, but those things will happen when I get a little more structure in my life.

Please tell us your favorite, and why:

Musical: Bye Bye Birdie makes me smile. It’s sweet and fluffy and sometimes I just need to lighten up.

Fable/Fairy Tale: It’s not technically a fairy tale or fable, but can I say the itsy-bitsy spider? It’s kind of like us – we climb, we fall, we climb again. And you get to do the fun hand motions when you sing it.

Movie: Crimes and Misdemeanors. It’s dark and true in an unusually blatant way. Bad deeds are not always punished. People who do terrible things can prosper. Things are not taken care of by karma or the universe. We can’t be motivated by the notion of being rewarded for being good, but we can choose it anyway.

Place: I love being underwater. The quiet and awareness of body. The weightlessness, the feeling of being protected and distant, the heartbeat sound.

Please do a five minute free-write with the words “glass of water” and share:

We each had a glass of water. I wanted his water. It was colder, sweeter. It inhabited my glass’s twin with greater grace. The condensation on his glass was sexy. I looked away and wiped my own wet glass, which was only messy. I watched his throat when he swallowed. I wanted him to want my glass of water. He only had to ask.

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Lauren Becker lives in Oakland, California, and plans to always. She is editor of Corium Magazine and hosts a Bay Area reading series called East Bay on the Brain. Her fiction has appeared in Hobart, Annalemma, Pedestal Magazine, Wigleaf, Monkeybicycle and elsewhere. She is tall and has great affection for postcards, boots, and cooking shows, though she does not cook. She has a blog at lauren-graysheep.blogspot.com.