Nothing Says Get to Know You Like Ethics

Close your eyes and imagine. You’re at school. Remember school? You’ve been struggling through Math class all semester and now it’s the midterm. You studied last night ‘til you passed out from whiskey. Friday night is the big party. Your mom wants you to go to Notre Dame like her friend did. Your locker is full of love letters from the assistant principal. You sit down with the test, get through the first two problems alright — then you hit a stumper. In front of you sits your best friend, Tina, who you’re pretty sure has an eating disorder so you can see over her bony shoulders fine, but she’s not such a hot student herself. Three of your MySpace boyfriends are doing hard time and you haven’t brought yourself to write. Each time you try to focus on the stumper, you think of the pitiful cries of the man you drugged and locked in your bathroom. He’s losing weight and misses his family terribly. He tried to escape and you had to cut him. You used to be such a nice girl, and now here you are, knocked up, addicted to paint thinner, and about to cheat on a math test.

I know I’m supposed to come up with a question, but I’m so angry with you, I couldn’t possibly.

Complaint

Every time I love someone, you set them free.

Pattern I Noticed

At a belief club meeting, a newcomer asks a question so elemental that the members laugh, delighted, having forgotten it could be asked. The newcomer squirms and the members are quick to apologize. They applaud her marksmanship, her rigor. Then they secure a time for the next week’s meeting. They’re not trying to dodge the question. They think they’ve answered it.