Poor Neptune

Poor Neptune. Standing in the piazza while lactating mermaids sit on stones beneath him, gazing up at the god that controls the sea and its depths, he is naked. Surrounded by beautiful amphibious maidens, his mind wanders and insecurity pokes him with his own trident.

As legend has it, Pope Gregory XIII had the god’s copper penis shrunk because he thought the sculptor, who was gay, made it too big.

It seems Neptune’s trident was poking the pope in the side of his own insecurity.

Now, from this I could tell you to go find Paul Allen’s chapbook, His Longing: The Small Penis Oratorio, which, if you can find it, is a great read. I could tell you to read a poem about jealousy, or I could tell you to read a poem about religious oppression, or even a poem that has nothing whatsoever to do with any of this and tell you that the word of the day is “placebo.” But, maybe the legend of Neptune and his offending phallus is good enough to stand on its own.

A story like this just has to be true.

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Seth Amos is somewhere in Italy roaming the countryside. He misses his 1960′s Royal typewriter and the cacophony of typing a sentence on it. He never writes in cursive. He did a pushup last week, but told his body not to get used to it. He received his B.A. from the College of Charleston.