Spotlight On…

It’s no secret that I am a huge fan of Roxane Gay, both her writing and the person. She writes brave, searing stories about loss, suffering, sex, violence, self-destruction, and more. Her stories are always visceral, powerful and deeply affecting. They stay. Haunt. Her work draws us in and will not allow us to look away from the horror and the beauty.

More than her writing, more than her role as co-editor extraordinaire at PANK, more than her widely published excellent and provocative reviews and commentary, Roxane Gay is a funny, smart, kind, caring, loyal, and loving individual. In short, she epitomizes one of her favorite words: FANCY.

– Ethel Rohan

Writing wise, where are you now? Where are you going?

I have no idea where I am or where I am going which must mean I am lost. Please find me. I have a short story collection being shopped around and fortunately, I don’t have to do anything but sit and wait which is quite nice yet nerve wracking. I’m working on too many things at once but I’m pretty excited about each of the projects. My priority is my novel so of course, that’s what I’m working on the least. Still, I have the first chapter and a bit more done, and that’s something.

What informs your creative process? How do you keep inspired?

I’m always inspired just by living each day. I don’t mean that in a tragic self-help way but I’ll hear a phrase or I’ll feel something for someone or a song will move me or I’ll see something hilarious and that gets me writing and then I punch out a story and wait for inspiration to strike me again. I keep inspired by continuing to live, and lately I’ve had an unexpected source of inspiration that (who?) has fueled a lot of stories I’m working on. I find life endlessly fascinating.

How do you feel about the label “writer”? “Woman writer”?

I am a writer so I’m fine with the label. I’m a woman so I guess that makes me a woman writer too. The older I get, the less I worry about labels. Call me what you want to call me. Make it dirty, please.

Do you struggle with self-doubt?

I am a writer. I doubt everything about myself. It is exhausting.

How do you cope with those feelings?

Not well.

You sport many fancy hats. Do you worry about spreading yourself too thin and diluting the quality of your writing, editing, teaching, and living?

Constantly. I’m very much interested in doing everything I do to the best of my ability and if I can’t do something well, I’d rather step aside than half ass it. That’s one of the reasons I stepped down as Fiction Editor of Emprise Review. I was doing okay but I wasn’t doing my best and I really respect the magazine and its fine editor, Patrick McAllaster, so I wanted to see someone (the amazing Amber Sparks) take over who could give the fiction their all. Believe it or not, I do know my limits. I am a workaholic and I like to keep busy which is why I have a lot going on but I do have my priorities and my personal life takes precedence over everything. My boyfriend is very good about reminding me to focus on relaxing and being in the moment, away from it all. He has been known to drag me to the middle of nowhere away from work (and the Internet) on a regular basis. I only pretend to go kicking and screaming and recharging like that is what makes it possible for me to sport many hats. I’m more afraid of being overexposed, of shooting my mouth off too much and making people sick of me (See: Do you struggle with self doubt?)

How has the Internet impacted your reading and writing? What is the future of print publication?

The Internet has taught me about writers I would never have known about otherwise. I have become a far more eclectic reader because of the Internet. In terms of writing, it has opened my work up to a much wider audience and I feel like I’m always learning about the possibilities of what writers can do when I read great writing online so in many ways, I think of reading and writing online like a master class. I love being a student. The future of print publication is not that different from its past — it’s going to continue to exist and evolve and become ever more dynamic and exciting. Everything evolves. I refuse to be pessimistic about print.

Tell us something that most people don’t know about you?

I enjoy playing golf (I’m terrible) and watching golf on television.

If you didn’t write, what would your life look like?

My life would look like a sweaty, wrinkled piece of blank paper someone threw on the street that had been stepped on a few hundred times. It would be irrelevant. I need writing way more than writing needs me.

Favorite Musical:

I’m obsessed with musicals so it is nearly impossible for me to choose one. Right now I’m really into Next to Normal, Billy Elliott, Wicked (don’t hate, haterz), A Little Night Music, Lupone’s Gypsy, Jekyll and Hyde, See What I Want to See, and In the Heights.

Fable/Fairy Tale:

Cinderella

Movie:

Pretty Woman

Painting:

The Rape of Lucrezia (both the paintings by Titian and Belluci)

Place:

Home

Please do a five minute free-write with the words “at the helm,” and share.

He was the kind of man who couldn’t help but bring his work home. When we first met, we were at a bar. I was drinking something ridiculous with too many thick liqueurs that didn’t blend well together. The electronic music blaring from the speakers had a steady, almost oppressive beat, like the bass wanted nothing more than to choke everyone who could hear it. I sat on a stool awkwardly, never was any good at sitting neatly at unnatural heights. He came up to me and offered to buy me a drink and I told him I was fine with the drink I had and he said, “It doesn’t look that way.” It irritated me that he was right so I took a deep breath and drained that thick mess of drink and when I finished, I smiled and licked my lips. He extended his hand. He said, “Very impressive. Now let me buy you a drink you’ll enjoy.” I was tired and wanted to be drunk so I agreed and he bought me a vodka tonic and I was unimpressed with his imagination. He told me he was a ferry captain, believed in living his life at the helm, and believed in taking initiative with a woman. I asked what he meant by that and he told me he’d rather show me. He nodded toward the exit so I quickly drank my vodka tonic and he steered me out of the club like a boat, his hand firmly planted in the small of my back. We went back to his place, not mine. I was never big on having to share my personal space with strange men. Something about that doesn’t feel right. We had sex in his apartment and the whole time, I stared at the antique wooden helm hanging from the ceiling over his bed which, from my vantage point, was framed by my feet in the air and his wrists around my ankles. He kept using nautical metaphors and analogies. I started to believe he took himself seriously.

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Roxane Gay’s writing appears or is forthcoming in Mid-American Review, Rick Magazine (formerly The Mississippi Review Online), Cream City Review, Annalemma, McSweeney’s (online), and others. She is the co-editor of PANK and can be found at roxanegay.com. Her first collection, Ayiti, will be released in 2011.