notes[1] & fragments

i can’t see the sun  my confidence is lacking
can i kiss you
no  my libido is vacationing with my confidence
can i hold your hand
no  your confidence is lacking
maybe i should go
maybe

little Jackie Kerouac is chasing the fellahin through the sierra madre mountains with tiny brown terrys left over from the contented western valleys of his american journey—roadside whorehouses wailing with loud bass lines beating through the countryside supply the landscape with an entire generation of green-eyed, blonde-haired happy marauders. [2]

i think i’m dying
we’re all dying eventually
but my pancreas hurts
that’s what pancreata do  they hurt
mine is weak and flaccid
such is the way of the pancreas

type 1 diabetes attacks the pancreas’s islet’s of langerhorn resulting in a cessation of insulin production.  last year, americans spent 176 billion dollars on the treatment and care of diabetes.[3] unfortunately, the bush administration, for the eight years previous, condemned the possibility of embryonic stem cell research based on judeo–christian mores and ethics.  most diabetic specialists and endocrinologists agree, stem cell research will find the cure for the disease within years of authorized stem cell research legislation.

you have a needle in your stomach
i know  it makes my pancreas feel better
does it still hurt
the needle or my pancreas
either or
both

trooper trav olta said the stories of the two individuals did not match, so he asked for their permission to search the vehicle.  during the search, the officer noticed someone had tampered with the dashboard area around the airbag compartment.  lifting up the airbag cover, trooper olta allegedly discovered packages wrapped in shiny foil consistent with the way some drugs are packaged.[4]

i think john travolta is the antichrist
i agree
i think he’s an alien
i disagree  aliens don’t exist except of course illegal ones along the border

William S. Burroughs searches for a vein in backwater haunts trying to build the indestructible table.  he strives to build something everlasting, manly, permanent.  he sits for hours in the orgone accumulator[5] hoping to fend off the bad signals sent by the scientologists[6].  control methods are dangerous and insidious.  time magazine, it’s reported by conspirators, the paranoid, and Burroughs, is the greatest perpetuator of mass control experiments in the united states.

i don’t believe in the day I was born
i lack confidence in this conversation
look over my shoulder  what do you see
the sun
i don’t believe you
you lack confidence  can i kiss you

the American Cancer Society says melanoma is a condition of the skin, the largest organ of the body, which can be eradicated early if treatment is sought.[7] melanoma can spread to other parts of the body if not caught soon enough so, hurry up.  cancerous cells typically start as dry, waxy spots but quickly develop into raised, dark areas on the skin around the suspected growth.  if you can see the sun, know your birthday, and have small, raised black sunspots on your body, you may want to visit a dermatologist.

i dreamed we kissed
tell me your name
do you care
i can’t feel you
i see the sun
it’s time you go

Jane Austen scribbles away in the humid air of the english shore warning young ladies of the salacious errors of bad manners.  Austen, predecessor to one ms. emily post, has informed generations of spoiled middle-class girls of the dangers of wayward flirtations and presuming illustrious airs.  did little tommy lefroy inspire these novels?  are rumors of a presumed christmas proposal just before tommy left for scotland true?  we’ll never really know?[8]

can i have a kiss  before i go
what’s your name
me  at least that’s what i call myself
are you worthy  me
yes

the notes of notes & fragments are a neurotic attempt on the author’s part to explain what he cannot imply in form — there are, in fact, limitations to sub-genius too.  upon a recent reading of Alexander Pope, the author of n&f was intimidated by a lack of notes explaining his works.  in an effort to transcend his literary unimportance, the author has written a  vague and somewhat interesting autobiography.  the notes, as the author suggests, give clues to the underlying meaning of the author’s intent and helps bolster his fragile ego.

Jack Kerouac’s On the Road is an american classic.  the tale follows Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady back and forth across the country and to mexico city. OTR was written in a three- week, benzedrine-induced flurry of typing on a continuous 120-foot roll of mimeograph paper.  Kerouac used the Spontaneous Prose method which is bereft of punctuation and is composed in long single-breathe sentences like a jazz horn player blowing his riff.  copies may be obtained here.  of the book that is—not the scroll.  It’s interesting to note the author of n&f lives on the texas/mexican border, has green eyes and blonde hair.

for more information on diabetes, diabetes care and management, current stem cell research legislation, and to make a donation, please visit the American Diabetes Association.

this news blurb was lifted from the pleasanton express. the incident does not in anyway reflect on the author’s actions.  it, however, did affect a close, loved-one of the author. the names of the innocent have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent.

the orgone accumulator, invented by wilhelm reich, collected free-floating orgone energy in the atmosphere and was used to treat mental illness, cancer, and to rejuvenate tired bodies. users sat in a four-layered metal box and consumed the orgone energy through a tube or simply breathing in the air.  reich was eventually accused of quackery and the fame of the orgone accumulator waned.  Burroughs, however, swore upon the therapeutic qualities of the contraption for most of his life. (Ted Morgan, Literary Outlaw)

scientology is a cult created by l. ron hubbard.  members of the church of scientology must undergo an extensive and intrusive ‘clearing’ process before acceptance. Burroughs completed the process but decided the scientologists were not at all as they appeared and spent his later london years attacking hubbard’s claims.  Burroughs, always the cultural antagonist, recorded and mixed conversations that he believed held secret messages and played them on a constant loop outside of scientology headquarters in london. (barry miles, The Beat Hotel)

for more information on melanoma and to make a donation visit the American Cancer Society.  when enjoying the sun, please, always apply sunblock and remember to reapply every two hours.

Jane Austen is speculated to have had a brief love affair with tom lefroy, a distant cousin.  jon spence wrote a great biography of Jane Austen, On Becoming Jane Austen, which explored the relationship and roman a’ clef aspect of her novels.  the movie, On Becoming Jane, in based loosely on the biography.   the author of n&f thinks anne hathaway, who played Austen, may be hotter than Jane and inherently liked the movie looser than the original.

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Brandon Shuler grew up on the Gulf and is a fishing guide in South Texas.  His Glory of the Silver King, a history of Texas tarpon and snook fishing, is forthcoming on Texas A&M University Press.  He is currently in New Orleans reporting on the oil spill for the national press.  He is filming a documentary on the spill and you can follow his daily reports on www.drilledbybp.com.  His work can be found in Red River Review, Far & Away, and other fine publications.