The Apocalypse is Boring

The world has been ending ever since I was a kid. Every year a new cable special highlights its demise. There are prophecies that parallel the events unfolding around all of us. Comets and floods and droughts and resistant influenza strains and religious leaders’ emergencies and terror plots and widespread homosexuality and Jesus’ face found on toasted bread and Y2K (that’s was a riot) and 2012 (just around the corner) and stock market dips and folks like these dudes:

Personally, I’m over all this lameness. I’m tired of the constant reminders of collective mortality. I’m tired of the false prophets hoping haplessly to be the truth-sayers of the Armageddon to come. And I’m sick of the supposed end of days always front and center of pop culture’s imagination.

If it’s not zombies comically chasing down virgins in order to feast on brains, then it’s grown men sheltering their children from cannibals in some post-catastrophic America.

Didn’t we already have Mad Max? Didn’t we already have Thriller?

Doesn’t anybody care that ‘the end of the world’ is the most cliched and abused topic of all time?

Don’t believe me?

Or how about this?

Here’s a silly one:

Here’s some real shit put together with some Bible stuff to scare folks wearing ties:

Here’s The Book of Eli:

Here’s Mad Max:

Here’s a baby sleeping:

Here’s Teen Wolf in Spanish:

Here’s Zombieland with Spanish subtitles:

Here’s a Mexican midget rodeo thing:

Here’s a bunch of pictures of starving children put together by someone with an ironic name:

Good night. — Brian Allen Carr